My Mother and the Three Little Pigs

by Tom Bajoras

Once upon a time there were three little pigs,
One was smaller than the other two
probably because he didn’t eat enough vegetables when he was a child.
He especially hated artichokes.
Have you ever seen an artichoke plant?
One time I was riding a train across California,
and we went through a field of artichokes.
I don’t really like train rides.
You know what I don’t like about train rides?
I just don’t like riding them with my mother.
In the five hours that it takes to cross California,
She can talk for ten hours,
Half of which would be about Star Trek,
and the other half would be about the unfortunate childhood
of a little pig who had two larger siblings.
If you asked me, I would say that yes, I can
imagine exactly what it would be like
to be a little pig on a train with a mother who talks
for ten hours about Star Trek and artichokes.
As far as I know, they don’t serve artichokes on trains,
But do they serve pork?
I don’t know. One time your father caught a shark.